


she used to be mine

by littleinbetweens



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:32:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleinbetweens/pseuds/littleinbetweens
Summary: ‶ she is gone but she used to be mine ″inspired by the song "she used to be mine" by: sara barelliesdifferent lyrics from the song creates a new chapter





	1. Chapter 1

_It's not easy to know_

_I'm not anything like I used be, although it's true_

_I was never attention's sweet center_

_I still remember that girl_

* * *

 

growing up with a mom who was a drug addict and a father who was in and out of jail, erin lindsay pretty much had her life planned out. she would end up like one of them, or yet even both. yep being an in and out junkie sounds about right for her future. nothing ever went her way, until that one day hank voight & his wife camille took her in and taught her what life really is. of course there was still that sudden urge to do everything that she wasn't supposed to do. she got into a lot of trouble, hung around the wrong crowds, got together with the worst males she ever could be with. yep this is what her life was.

until that day where everything suddenly fell into place. she got a job in intelligence at the 21st where her alleged father hank was the boss of the whole unit. of course with her being the only girl, erin surprisingly got a long very well with her co-workers. life was great, she never turned out like her mother or her father. of course she saw bunny multiples times during her life but never got into any trouble with her. then there was that one day where hank informed the team that they were getting a new guy, oh great just another male she had to deal with. but this one was different than al, antonio, & adam. his name was jay halstead, from the moment she first laid eyes on him she knew that he was something special. he was very kind, good looking, and had eyes as green the trees on the spring time. i mean who wouldn't love that.

their partnership was spectacular, he knew her and she knew him. she would never let him drive and he would always let her, even though he hated it so much. they were always there for each other. but hank being the protective father he was saw something between them that he was not happy about. he didn't want jay to date his little girl, he obviously knew that jay would never do anything to potentially hurt erin. he just saw it as if they were a thing and something happened she would go off the deep end and that is something he doesn't want for her. she went down that path mutiple times as a teen after she broke up with someone that she thought was the one. erin on the other hand didn't like hanks idea, she knows he doesn't think highly of jay, but that isn't stopping her from what she really wants. she cares so much about jay that she knows they will never break up and he will never crush her heart. she knows what's happened in the past but she has changed dramatically from that run down teenage girl to an independent, bad ass cop.

this was the life she wanted and after finally fighting for it for years, she had finally gotten her happy ending. hank gave in and let her and jay be a thing after so long and he was proven wrong. they have been going strong for almost 4 years with an engagement on their list. erin had finally found everything she wanted in life, much different than what she thought she was gonna be. but she will _still remember that girl_ she once was, all lost and confused. 


	2. Chapter 2

_She's imperfect, but she tries_

_She is good, but she lies_

_She is hard on herself_

_She is broken and won't ask for help_

_She is messy, but she's kind_

_She is lonely most of the time_

_She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie_

* * *

 

 

she's nothing but a screw up, no matter how many times hank or jay will tell her she's not, deep in her eyes she knows they think so too. no matter how hard she tries to put it past her, everything resurfaces, bunny, a case, old friend...

jay has known his fiancé for quite some times now, he knows when she's distant and to not disturb her when she's in that state. they have gotten into a fight earlier in the month about how she lied where she was that afternoon after he told her the news that jimmy wasn't her father. she told him that she was taking a walk in the park, looking at the scenery, but in reality she was with annie. he should have known. she lied about that and lied about what they discussed, never once mentioned to him that she was thinking about leaving chicago to get away from bunny's stupid tactics. the only reason he found out was when he heard the answering machine go off with annie asking her if "she found a solid reason for leaving. if there was nothing holding her back then she should go". of course jay was utterly confused and confronted erin right as she entered the apartment after hanging with burgess & the girls. she told him it was nothing to worry about and that it's not even taking into effect anymore.

overtime they had gotten a lot better at telling each other what's on their mind. making sure the other knew what was going on, but deep inside erin wasn't the same person she once was. she had turned into a liar, put up an extra wall around herself that even jay couldn't see. she was being extra protective, heck she even thought about ending the engagement. erin didn't understand why jay was still with her, he would be better off with someone who can give him everything that he wants.

with this kind of behavior back then when she was a teen hank and camille would always take her to a therapist. erin was never the kind of person to ask for help and as she grew older it stated with her. she always wanted to show jay that she was independent, that she could take care of herself. of course jay was never the type of person to do so. he was taught to be the perfect gentlemen to the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and that person was erin. it was erin since he first saw her when he was being introduced as the new debye rice in hanks unit. and she was finally his, so he thought. he knows his girl, every piece of her she is messy, but she's kind. that never stopped him, those were all flaws erin was afraid to admit. yes he has his, but he was fairly certain that everyone knew what they were. hell, there are probably all fakes that he doesn't even know he has but that's beyond the point.

erin lindsay was more than just a troubled girl. she may have a file in hanks ci, which he happened to see when they were looking through all of them. she was made into this beautiful person who he saw greatness in. he saw a future with her, kids or not. erin is his angel and he was her house husband. through thick and thin, he promised to her after their first date that he will always be there for her and he will always protect her no matter what the circumstance is.


End file.
